Ah, anniversaries. That time when we express our love and commitment to our partners and spouses not just with our words or actions but through our gift-giving chops. Countless couples pine away for the perfect gift on this day, but most end up bitter and disappointed when their spouses fail to meet the sky-high expectations they’ve set.
Of course, not every couple struggles with gift-giving. But if you do, know that you are not alone. If your relationship is new, it makes sense if you are struggling with gift shopping. You might not know your partner that well of yet so you can be forgiven for selecting a less than a desirable gift.
But it’s not just people in new relationships that struggle to find gifts for their spouses. Even long-term couples experience challenges nailing the perfect gift now and again, which is proof that gift-giving between spouses is not as straightforward as it should be.
But why is that, you ask. You see, the more a relationship matters to the people in it, the more they worry about getting the right gifts. The more you value your partner, the more you want the gift that you give to be a correct reflection of the vigor of your feelings towards them.
What most people in relationships don’t want to do is give a gift that is a poor representation of the relationship’s importance. The good news? Being a good gift-giver, within the context of your relationship as well as outside of it, is a skill that can be learned. But it takes a little communication and creativity to get it right.
Why is it so important that you give your spouse the right gift?
If you have ever received a truly terrible gift (and who hasn’t been on the receiving end of one of those at one point or another) then you know how utterly gut-wrenching it can feel. Worse still, when the terrible gift comes from your partner, your best friend, your ride or die, the feelings of disappointment are even more soul-crushing.
After all, your lover is supposed to know every bit of you. As such, when the gift given is out of the left field, it can almost feel like an insult, as though what your partner is really saying is ‘’I Don’t know anything about you and I don’t care to learn enough to get you a meaningful gift.’’
Although one terrible gift is definitely not grounds for ending a relationship, if your partner starts to make it a habit, it can be a signal of worse things to come for the relationship. No relationship is perfect. However, in otherwise healthy relationships, both individuals are typically attuned to one another’s wants and needs, which makes gift giving easy.
So what can you do to figure out your partner’s gifting preferences? Here are habits of spouses that are good at gift giving so that you can emulate them in your practice:
Giving gifts can feel like some kind of test- and it shouldn’t. There is no reason for you to act all secretive especially if you are struggling already. If you are stumped on what to get, sometimes the best course of action is the simplest one- just ask.
Although you should know your partner best, you can’t be expected to read between the lines or your partner’s mind for that matter. Being direct and open with your partner about what they expect for a gift is a surefire way not to disappoint them.
Don’t make gift-giving a guessing game
Pay attention to what your spouse wants for themselves
Even if your spouse is a no-nonsense, thrifty person, we can guarantee that there are some luxuries that they would like to or dream of indulging in. What does your wife collect coupons for? What has your husband been fantasizing about?
Are there any catalogs that have been browsed over? The answers to these questions are perfect clues for what to buy your spouse whether you are celebrating a 30th or 3rd anniversary (by the way, here’s a cool article I recently used to buy some anniversary gifts here).
Your spouse must have close friends, relatives, or parents that would be more than delighted to fill you in on what their loved one would want most as a gift. And if they haven’t shared this information yet, your inside operatives can poke and prod until they get a few ideas.
Just be sure to enlist the assistance of individuals that can keep a secret. The last thing you want is for any of them to blow the surprise after nailing the perfect gift for your spouse.
Enlist the assistance of inside operatives
Try and solve a problem
Is there something annoying your spouse for which you can come up with a solution? That would make a perfect gift. You need to be a little careful with this one though because you don’t want to give the wrong present at the wrong time.
For instance, a really nice steak knife to replace that old worn-out one, for example, could be a welcome and super useful gift- just not on your anniversary. Don’t allow the gift-giving pressure to get to you.
You know your partner best so trust your instincts and genuinely think about a problem that you would like to solve for your partner. As long as you put some consideration into it, you will find that any gift, regardless of how big or small it is, will be meaningful and appreciated.
Are you one of those people that throw up their arms in frustration every anniversary? Gift giving for couples is hard. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together or how fondly you feel for one another. There will be times when you are excited to hand over that perfect gift only to be met by bewildered and less than impressed looks.
That less than enthusiastic reaction can leave you feeling disheartened and unappreciated. With these tips above, you should be able to find the perfect gift for your spouse; one that meets all standards set. And if all else fails, you could always go for a box full of cold hard cash.
