Looking For Love: The Qualities To Look For In A Partner

What to look for in a relationship partner may seem like an easy thing to know. Whether you’ve been in multiple relationships or this is your first attempt, the first attributes that come to mind are usually intelligence, humorous, compassion, kindness, attractiveness, or reliability. Irrespective of what you think you’re looking for in a partner, who you end up with may not always be what you’d consider the mark of an ideal companion. And there are several reasons for this. 

Most people do not know that a large part of how we are attracted to the people we love is an unconscious process. Experts say that everyone is attracted to their childhood caretakers subtly taking note of their traits both positive and negative. We now use those traits as a yardstick when we meet our potential partners. 

This explains the homely feeling we get when we find our partner. It seems as if we’ve known them for a long time.

So, apart from our caretaker’s traits, what qualities should you look out for in a partner? Keep reading to find out more.

Empathy And Emotional Maturity

Empathy is being able to understand what another person is feeling or going through. You literally can put yourself in their shoes. A partner who has empathy is likely to understand you during an argument because they know where you’re coming from.

It’s true that no one is perfect and has flaws. Looking for the perfect partner is more or less a vain struggle. A quality you should be on the lookout for is a partner who is emotionally mature. That is someone who can think and learn for themselves; they’re open to picking lessons from their past in order to change the present. 

An ideal partner is non-reactive; not that they don’t react when they’re hurt but they think before taking any action. As such, they aren’t ruled by their emotions and are self-confident. These kinds of people are intentional and don’t need you to fix them. 

Honesty

A very essential characteristic to be sought after in a partner is honesty. Generally speaking, people don’t like deceivers but find it okay to tell a lie. Couples believe telling lies would cause no harm and is necessary to survive. According to research, that’s not a factual statement as fewer lies lead to good relationships. 

Wouldn’t it be weird to be with someone you claim to love but don’t trust? Trust is a crucial trait to look for when choosing a life partner. You need someone who means what they say and doesn’t hide their feelings. People at  https://www.coaching-online.org/right-person-wrong-time/ can provide you with the right coaching when confused about what to look out for. What would bring much joy is being with someone who isn’t ashamed to open up. They feel comfortable even telling you when they see someone they’re attracted to rather than shrug it off thereby creating secrets. 

Being with a person who hides their true self is a very frustrating feeling and would leave you thinking if they’ve not been honest with you from the start. 

Friendship

Choose someone who’s your friend over and over again. Either getting involved with a person who you’ve been friends with or centering the relationship on friendship.  

This is a great place to start from as you let it metamorphose into an emotional level. In times when you feel weird about your partner, you can remember the things that interest you about them in the first place. 

Respectful

Respect is a valuable quality you should look for in a partner. You feel secure and independent in a relationship when the person always encourages you to be yourself. It’s easy to feel loved when there’s someone who motivates you to do the things that make you happy. 

This same individual should be willing to call you to order when engaging in attitudes or behaviors that aren’t productive. Acting this way shows that a person is respectful. People who take an interest in not only you but the things you’re passionate about are people you can spend the rest of your life with without being ashamed of pursuing your interests.

What Do You Consider Deal breakers?

Make a list of the things you consider deal-breakers. They’re attributes that would easily turn you off which means when you see these in a person, it’s a no-no for you. 

You can make this list alongside qualities you’d like to see. 

Everyone has a list of what they want to see in their partner. It is not the same for most people, but it’s rare to want to be someone who doesn’t respect you, you don’t consider a friend, isn’t trustworthy, or has no empathy towards you.