Strategies for Navigating Conflict In Your Relationship And Working Toward Lasting Resolution
A relationship between two partners is sustained with constant commitment, even with different personalities and viewpoints. The relationship is usually disturbed by radical differences in perspective, opinions, beliefs, or tastes. A few years ago, I used to have utmost conflicts, but I considered it not a bad thing once I started identifying conflict triggers. The conflict trigger might be jealousy, habits, or trust issues.
It made us remember a fairytale in which men and women, the romantic partners, lived happily after. The reality is far different from this. Sometimes avoiding conflicts becomes impossible, although we can learn to deal with them. It is better to normalize it rather than break the bonds. Managing conflicts in relationships is challenging when the partners never have a mutual understanding and respect for each other.
Successful management of conflicts can even strengthen your relationship. New cultures might have made us forget that; the relationship is itself a workout; it’s not like you’re swiping videos on your phone; you’ll leave it as it is and move on.
How to Resolve Relationship Conflicts
Conflicts are characterized by arguments, disagreements, or the partner following a series of differences with you.
You’ll know some people avoid conflicts; they don’t talk about their needs. These people are comparatively more focused on the difference between independence and interdependence.
I asked Life Coach Susan Allan about resolving relationship conflicts. She believes that human nature encourages us to back away from conflict and to ignore what our partner says when the words offered are less peaceful and loving than we prefer. However, that is the #1 cause of divorce! To create a genuine bond between people, you need to hear all your partner’s feelings and needs, including frustration, disappointment, and worry. It’s also most valuable to hear which needs are not being met in your relationship. Then you can discuss what can be done to solve this, and your relationship will indeed be on solid ground.
Some couples argue about money, sex, or politics, while others find day-to-day chores and responsibilities the critical trigger to fights. Yet, a difference in priorities and opinions isn’t why some couples argue and others do not.
When one partner possesses the tools to listen to the other without jumping in with an opinion and can also wait until everything has been expressed before offering an opinion, this is the first step to peace-making. There are six steps to peacemaking, but this, the first step, is the most powerful.
So, when conflicts are there in a relationship, it’s stressful. The disagreement between partners becomes detrimental to a relationship when one of the partners becomes of defending nature. If the partner emphasizes defending himself rather than solving, it causes utmost stress and energy flows.
Suppose you have conflicts but have a strong desire to save them from ruining your relationship. Focus on taking constructive steps. Your primary goals should be resolving disputes, fixing damages, and enhancing togetherness.
Here are some prominent ways to resolve conflicts in relationships:-
Emphasis on communication
The issue starts when your partner can’t openly communicate with you about their problems. The reason might be any, for example, work pressure, busy schedules, living in a big family, or other chores. Ensure you give your partner enough space and time to share inner thoughts rather than make them feel emotionally disconnected.
Account for your words
Doesn’t matter whether you’re fighting or expressing love; respect is something that shouldn’t be lost. Maintain the boundaries and respect. Sometimes, fluency, volume, and tone can be more distressing than words. Calmness is the savior.
Identify and address the real issues.
When some problems are not effectively discussed, it keeps striking the head. Pests lead to difficulties when left ignored, skipped, or unresolved. Rather than scaling the issues, getting to the root of the problems is better.
3 Strategies for Addressing Conflicts In Relationship
Both partners should focus on managing the conflicts as effectively as possible. So the first thing you should know is how to address the problems or stress in your relationship with your partner. Here are three strategies for you:-
Find the right time to address the conflictive issues with a positive approach. Finding the right time to speak up refers to choosing when your partner mostly remains calm and free. Avoid talking when your partner is tired, frustrated, or in a rush; it’ll only upset them. Also, if you plan your timing prior or simply asking them would be a better option. Positivity should be reflected and appreciation of each other’s times.
Be an active listener and reflect on it.
Make sure you do not get distracted from the mainstream. Your focus should be on keeping every word on track. Don’t make interruptions while your partner is talking, have a gap before making further comments. Also, don’t prepare your answer while your partner Is in mid-sentence. Be a good listener. Even if you don’t agree with your partner at some point, just represent it as if you carefully listened to them. It is a skill called “reflective listening.”
Fight fair and take a break when required.
Your partner will cross-question or defend themself when you tend to accuse them. Accusations and blaming are just a call for a counterattack. That’s why it is said to fight fair; the fight should not include sentences that blame only your partner. When you feel directionless, or the situation worsens according to you or your partner, stop for a while. Choose another time to continue.
10 Tips Know To Resolve Relationship Conflicts
The consequences of conflicts depend upon the way you argue. Sometimes the reason for the conflict is much less disturbing than how you addressed them. Since your goal should be to manage the competition and not upset your partner in the relationship, here are ten tips for you:-
Direct communication
Choose the right time and place to address your issues directly with your partner. Don’t use any indirect way to express your thoughts; this will only create confusion and misunderstanding. Be mindful of non-verbal communication.
Consider the conflict as an opportunity.
Sometimes, conflicts can be opportunities to develop more understanding of differences. Avoid being competitive with your partner; there is no loser or winner in love.
Don’t use “always” or “never.”
Using these words simply indicates indicates you’re ignoring your partner’s efforts. “You never helped me in households” or “You have always been so ignorant of my chores,” using such sentences encourage them to use counterexamples, which would be of no worth.
Be an active listener.
Be attentive while your partner is addressing some critical issues. Make eye contact.
Don’t contempt
It’s the worst thing when one loses respect or self-worth. Don’t try to belittle your partner.
Identify when you need a time-out.
An argument shouldn’t be taken longer if it’s taking direction to ruin the bond. Take deep breaths and short breaks.
Develop acceptance
Accept it even if your partner has annoying habits or any negative traits. Later on, you can sincerely work on it.
Work on forgiveness
A relationship involves a phase when your partner loses trust, becomes angry, or sometimes guilty; it’s better to work on forgiveness.
Show affection
Understandably, getting affectionate with your partner is hard when conflicts are on fire. Take time to calm down, and then make time for touch. Holding hands, kissing, or hugging boosts the excellent hormone oxytocin.
Maintain healthy boundaries and compromise.
Healthy boundaries indulge more gratitude and encourage respect in every condition. Compromise is another factor that lessens the effect of differences; it is a way to maintain personal values, beliefs, or opinions.
Conclusion
Conflict is just a normal part of every healthy and romantic relationship. Not every time two people are expected to be lovable; there might be something upon which both cannot agree. Sometimes, conflicts could benefit your relationship with the “clean the air” approach. It refers to highlighting those troublesome issues that need to be discussed. It is a normal part of the relationship; the couples should focus on effectively resolving conflict in relationships.
