7 Things To Consider When Planning A Funeral For A Loved One
Planning a funeral is one of the most personal and heartfelt tasks you can undertake. It’s an opportunity to honour your loved one’s life and ensure their wishes are respected. But where do you even begin? There are many decisions to make, from choosing the right kind of service to navigating practical considerations.
1. Religious and Cultural Considerations
Does your loved one’s faith or cultural background play a role in how they’d want to be remembered? Religion often influences funeral traditions, from the type of ceremony to burial or cremation preferences. For example, if you’re arranging a Buddhist funeral package, you’ll want to consider customs like chanting, offerings, or specific rituals that reflect Buddhist beliefs.
Even if your loved one wasn’t deeply religious, incorporating elements from their spiritual or cultural background can make the service feel meaningful and authentic. Be sure to check with family members or community leaders to ensure you’re covering everything important.
2. Budgeting and Financial Planning
Let’s face it: funerals can be expensive. That’s why setting a clear budget upfront is essential. Think about what matters most—would you prefer an intimate gathering or a more formal service? Costs will vary depending on whether you choose burial or cremation, the type of casket or urn, and other details like flowers or catering.
Many funeral homes offer packages that simplify the process. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask for a breakdown of what’s included in each package and what extras might add to the total. It’s all about balancing what feels right for your family with what you can realistically afford.
3. Choosing Between Burial and Cremation
One of the first big decisions is whether to opt for burial or cremation. This choice might already be clear based on your loved one’s wishes or religious beliefs, but if not, take some time to weigh the options.
- Burial – Offers a physical place to visit, such as a gravesite, which some families find comforting.
- Cremation – Typically more affordable and allows for creative options, such as scattering ashes in a meaningful location or keeping them in a memorial urn.
There’s no right or wrong choice here—what matters is selecting what feels most appropriate for your loved one and your family.
4. Picking the Perfect Location
Where will the service take place? This is another question that often depends on personal and cultural preferences. Some families choose a place of worship, while others prefer a funeral home, outdoor venue, or even their own home for a more intimate gathering.
If you’re planning a graveside service or scattering ashes, think about locations that held special meaning to your loved one. Maybe they adored a certain park, beach, or even their own garden. Wherever you decide, the key is to create a space that feels personal and reflective of their life.
5. Writing the Obituary and Eulogy
The obituary and eulogy are two of the most personal ways to celebrate your loved one’s life. The obituary provides an overview of their story—birth, family, accomplishments, and values—while the eulogy is often a more intimate reflection shared during the service.
When writing these, think about what truly defined them. What were their passions, quirks, and achievements? You might also want to include details like favourite quotes, funny memories, or the impact they had on others. Involving multiple family members in the process can make it even more special.
6. Personalising the Service
Funerals are deeply personal, and adding unique touches can make the experience even more meaningful. Think about incorporating your loved one’s personality into the service.
Here are some ideas:
- Music – Play their favourite songs or a live performance of a piece they loved.
- Memorial Table – Display photos, letters, or keepsakes that represent their life.
- Readings – Include poems, scripture, or personal messages from family and friends.
- Themed Elements – Did they have a passion for gardening, cooking, or a favourite sport? Small touches like floral arrangements or decorations can reflect this.
These details don’t just honour their memory; they also provide comfort to those attending by creating a warm, personal atmosphere.
7. Supporting Yourself and Others
Lastly, don’t forget to care for yourself and your family during this time. Planning a funeral can be emotionally taxing, and it’s easy to put everyone else’s needs before your own.
Lean on your support network, whether that’s family, friends, or a professional counsellor. Delegating tasks can also take some of the pressure off—ask a trusted friend to help coordinate flowers or food, or work closely with the funeral home to handle logistics.
It’s okay to take breaks and allow yourself moments to grieve. Remember, this process is as much about finding healing for yourself as it is about honouring your loved one.
Moving Forward With Care
Planning a funeral is never easy, but it’s also an opportunity to reflect, celebrate, and honour a life well-lived. By taking the time to consider these seven steps, you can create a service that truly feels like a tribute to your loved one’s unique spirit.
